Emotions ...

Read a very interesting thought today ....

"Most people don’t think they create their emotions. They think they just have them. Like snowflakes or raindrops, they fall out of the sky. People often say that they were just overcome by emotion. In fact, emotions are chosen. The mind decides to feel a certain way. Emotions are an Act of Will." --- Neale Donald Walsch

I was one among the many who once believed that emotions just happen. I could argue for ever (and also manage to convince) that emotions cannot be created, they just happen. But with time it changed. Before I go further, let us also see what does emotions mean.

As per wikipedia, "Emotion is a complex psychophysiological experience of an individual's state of mind as interacting with biochemical (internal) and environmental (external) influences.... Emotion is associated with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation."

Very interesting explaination. Isn't it? A mood or emotion is governed by once personality. The definition of emotion itself says that we are in control of our emotion (or should be) and not be in control of emotions ...

I was a pranksters all my life (and maybe still am). There was a time when I could fake fever to avoid going to school! How would I manage that? It was simple. I would make myself believe that I am unwell and kept repeating it over and over. By next morning I would actually have a fever! Fever or not feeling well is also an emotion. So, we can train our mind to believe or behave or react a certain way. Yet, in those years I would say that emotions can't be created. What a contradiction.. :)

With time and experience, I started questioning this belief of mine. I realised I felt a certain way because I wanted to. I would get angry because I wanted to put across my point strongly and thought anger was the only way to do it. The day I started training my mind that I CAN put my views across WITHOUT raising my voice, my anger started reducing.
I think the same is with love. I fall in love very easily and then it's very difficult for me to come out of it. The reason is that I am in love with the concept of falling in love. So, I tend to be affectionate very easily. It becomes difficult for me to pull myself out once I have 'fallen in love' because of my mindset of loving love. Now that I am aware of this, I am actually conscious of my actions and emotions.

With time I started practicing watching myself and it has helped me in many ways. I am a much calmer, happier person and more in touch with myself than I was earlier.
Maybe, this is what is called, 'living in present'.

Oh yes! I am still in love with the concept of falling in love ..... :)

Life's Choices

Life is full of choices
Make sure you pick the right one
Don't listen to the voices
Hear only yours and you have won

Many people will tell you
You need to change your looks
Don't take to heart their view
Fabulous bods are found only in books

There is only one voice
That you should listen to
It will help make the right choice
That is perfect just for you

Your looks are your own
Someone will always love you
You will never be alone
Look in the mirror and you'll see who

Read this poem a while back and the lines of the poem refuse to leave me!
Here I would like to clarify that I am not critising the poem or the poet but just putting across my thoughts which are based on my experience of life.

At times in life one doesnot know that the voices speaking to us is our own or an influence. hen, how can one 'listen' and 'follow' ones own voice? I wish, really wish life was that simple.
I may desire many thinks. It's not just me who can make it happen. Here I am talking about relationships. Relationships of all kinds.. Parents, family, friends, lover etc etc.. Every relation requires two to tango! One can't always get what one desires...
Yet, I wish, I did! :)

Silence!

What is silence....
As per Wikipedia,
"Silence is the relative or total lack of audible sound. By analogy, the word silence may also refer to any absence of communication, even in media other than speech. Silence is also used as total communication, in reference to non verbal communication and spiritual connection."

While I was searching for the 'meaning' of silence, I found something else too..
Pure Silence...
It said, "This pure silence is what some have called Truth, Infinity, Reality, Enlightenment, Nothingness, God, Great or Holy Spirit, The Now, True Self, I am, Consciousness and Love. This silence is a mystery beyond mind, beyond what the human brain can fully comprehend. Like a beautiful diamond, we can only see a few facets at a time. This mystery is seemingly far beyond us-our capacity to understand, to know. And yet this is contained within our very selves, and this contains us as well."

How beautiful.
We generally use silence to defend, to shield, to block away from a situation or a place and pure silence talks about just the opposite, to be part of it, to accept, to embrace all that is around you.
Silence is what we use to introspect but do you actually do that or just create more mind chatter. Pure Silence helps us be one with the universe, when there are no thoughts, no clutter, no analysis, nothing.... Just silence....

So, when someone told me today that I want to be left alone, I want to spend some time in silence with myself. My question was are you truly silent or you just want to be alone with your thoughts.
Yes, we all do that when we say, "leave me alone!" What we are actually saying is, "Leave me alone because I want to let my thoughts grow on me, I don't want anyone to question my thoughts, I don't want anyone to make me uncomfortable".
So, is silence the solution?
NO, is what I say... Such silence is not going to lead us anywhere... It would just add to the clutter & take us in circles... So, speak up! Talk, bring forth whatever is there in your mind, confront it and let a close soul take your thoughts by it's horns... Feel the discomfort, get angry put all your emotions in feeling what you feel...Fight, disagree, argue but don't close in... Keep an open mind! Speak up to a close soul & NOT the reason of those emotions... Once you have dealt with the emotions, then speak again, this time to the person who had raised the emotions at the first place. You would be calmer, saner & would be able to hold a better, logical conversation. Once you have done that, be silent.

Only now you have earned to be silent. Only now can you be truly silent!

It's Time

Yes, it's time to come back here....
I have visited this place many times in last three years but never posted anything...
Why, I asked myself!
The answer, I was not ready to share a part of me... Maybe I was not ready to share some facts with myself... I was running, yes I wanted to run away from everything, everything I have lived for or believed in... To create all from the beginning... But, we have a beginning in every moment.

Yes, today I begin again, hope not to whiter away but to stay till eternity....
Tall call, isn't it! But, what is life without some impossible dreams!

I Can See The Pain

I still see your face in my dreams

It hurts and it doesn't help at all

I still want you in my life as crazy as that seems

I want you to catch me when I fall

I still remember the first time we met

There was something so different about you

Your friendship was something I wanted to get

That smile when you said "hi" to me was so new

Out of no where we met again and I was over the moon

I wanted to sit there and talk to you forever

You were so new, so crazy and unknown

I just knew that our friendship would never sever

Two years and we were barely holding it together

What happened to the way this all used to be

I never wanted you out of my like ever

I sat there for a long time pretending not to see

I wanted us to go out and make it all all right

It didn't work out of course we knew it couldn't

We couldn't even really stand each others sight

It shouldn't end this way but it did and I shouldn't

I miss you and everything you were to me

Ten years from now we will look back on it all

We will be older and finally be able to see

That love will stand (hopefully) the test of time and never fall

Jaane Kya Hai Baat

Jaane Kyon Aaj Main Khush Hu.
Pyaar Nahin Hai Aaj Saath
Pur Main Khush Hu.
Bante Bante Bigad Rahi Aaj Har Baat
Pur Main Khush Hu.
Tanha Kat Rahi Hai Aaj Raat
Pur Main Khush Hu.
Aansoon Bhi chalak gayi Aaj Chad Ke Saath
Pur Main Khush Hu.
Zindagi Ne Chod Diya Aaj Saath
Pur Jaane Kya Hai Baat
Kyon Aaj Main Khush Hu.

Something I wrote..just like that!

Morality

I am confused???

What is Morality?
As per Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosphy

The term “morality” can be used either

1. descriptively to refer to a code of conduct put forward by a society or,
a. some other group, such as a religion, or
b. accepted by an individual for her own behavior or

2. normatively to refer to a code of conduct that, given specified conditions, would be put forward by all rational persons.

As per Wikipedia:

Morality refers to the concept of human ethics which pertains to matters of good & evil— also referred to as "right or wrong", used within three contexts: individual conscience; systems of principles and judgments — sometimes called moral values —shared within a cultutal, religious, secular, humanist, or philosophical community; and codes of behavior or conduct morality.
Personal morality defines and distinguishes among right and wrong intentions, motivations or actions, as these have been learned, engendered, or otherwise developed within each individual.

All these definitions confuse me...

Coz as per me Morality is as simple as the actions which are acceptable to you and the effect. The effect could be a single person, crowd or community.

I feel like truth, morality is also a virtue which is dependent on circumstances.

Many donot agree with me but then I have my belief and have not come across any reason to change it.

But life does throw you in situations which make you think or rethink you lifes beliefs..

Guess I am going through one such phase.

Hope it passes without causing any distructon to people around me...

I Just Hope!!!

Freedom

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be free,
Like a monkey swinging from tree to tree,
Or like young eagles way in the skies,
Calling to each other with joyful cries.
Oh, to be free and without a care,
Not to live in bondage or constant fear.
To live each day and spread my wings,
To be forever untouched by negative things.

I got my answer today!
I experienced life which is free of bondage, I did fly today and did it without any care or concern

Oh my soul flew high up in the sky today..
It was heavenly!

Choice

I have recently caught my self thinking a lot about things which I want to do but havenot.
The reason the usual... I dont have time....

But, do I dont have time or have I choosen to not have time......

After all its again me who says that life is about the choices you make...

Right!

You!!!

Come close to me
And look into my eyes;
Tell me what you see.
Try to look deeper in them
And find yourself in me.

During the day or be it night
Whatever I see… it’s you in my sight.
I see myself in the mirror… it’s you.
Thoughts are worthless thoughts
If the thoughts are not… of you.

Am I myself?... (I wonder at times)
Or is it you in me that shines?
Have you lost yourself… in me?
For it’s only you.. my eyes can see.
*******************************
Yes no matter how hard I try, you have become a part of me.
Yes it was me who disconnected all plugs, but who initiated it?

This is a question we can go on and on about.
But what do I do.
You are inside me and will stay there.
How ever hard I try, this situation I doubt will change.
Yes, one moves ahead in life. but the point of reference remains.
If I say, I have moved ahead. So???
You still exist. If not in anything else, in the point of reference from where I have moved ahead.
You have touched my life in a special way which will be cherished for ever.
But, that brushing of our lifes could leave such deep impressions on my life was something I was not ready for.

Yes you.. you have changed me.
My life took a turn when my life met yours.
It's said that your life, luck and situations do get influenced by the people around you.

How True

I changed. Yes I have. And I changed after I met you.

So, no matter what people say I can't forget you. I can't afford to do that coz if I attempt to do that, I will be forgetting myself. If I have to erase you from my life, I'll have to erase myself.

Can one be self distructive? I can't do that.
You can say that I am foolish not to do it or I don't have the courage.

I say I'm being wise. Coz if I wipe you, my existence is a question mark.

I love life too much to let it go..
No, I can't let my life slip by.
So, I can't forget you.
Yes you are part of me and will remain till my last breath.

The Transition

Life...... is synonyms of fun..... till few months back that's what I used to think!

Today, I realize that life has lots more to it than just fun and masti .donno why how n when this change came..
When??? I guess I can attempt to answer that..

A person who is away from all loved ones.. living all alone so alone that if you fall ill no one is thereto offer a glass of water also
At the same time doing what one wants at own whims and fancies
Working for a company who is sucking your blood everyday and you are suffering from lack of sleep. To the extend of spending not just a night but nights in office

So all you could think about if and one would get time was sleeping and chilling out
An extremely self centered life

This changed a bit abruptly to living with people who matter who care and who are there for you always. Working for a company where the timing is not grilling and you can have your personal space

You are being taken care of and everything is at your disposal.

That change I think has made me realize the importance of people and to be thankful for all the blessing I have been blessed with.

Sometimes I Wonder!

Sometimes I wonder
What life's all about
Alone I'll often ponder
But I never figure out...

Why people have to die
So many seem to suffer
Evil people always lie
Is faith my only buffer??

Sometimes I wonder
Why won't GOD help out??
Is he way up younder??
Why does he make us doubt??

Does struggle make us stronger??
Why can't we keep our loved ones longer??
It's so hard to understand.
I will never understand
All life's ups and downs
We're a part of a scheme so grand
With all its smiles and its frowns
Beleiving is achiveing
As we overcome our trials
Faith becomes convincing
As we fiddle with life's dials

Sometimes I wonder
What life is all about??
Alone I often ponder
But never figure out....
Is suffering in his plan??
Why can't we keep our loved ones longer??
It's so hard to understand.


I will never understand
All life's ups and downs
We're a part of a scheme so grand
With all its smiles and its frowns


Beleiving is achiveing
As we overcome our trials
Faith becomes convincing
As we fiddle with life's dials


Sometimes I wonder
What life is all about??
Alone I often ponder
But never figure out....

Aansoo !!!

I was going through a site n found some lines which i liked a lot n they discribe me n my situation so well.....

I donno who wrote this but who ever has writen this has touched my heart deeply...

Bikhrey aansoo k moti hum piro na sake

Teri yaad me saari raat so na sake

Beh na jaye aansoo main tasvir teri

Bus yahi soch kar hum ro na sake

Wo mil jatey hain kahani bankar

Dil mein bas jatey hain nishani bankar

Jinhe hum rakhte hain apni aakho mein

Kioon nikal jatey hain wo pani bankar

Khayaalo ko kisi aahat ki aas rehti hai

Nigaaho ko teri talaash rehti hai

Tere bina koi kami nahi lekin

Tere bagair tabiyat udaas rehti hai

Samjha na koi dil ki baat ko

Dard duniya ne bin soche hi de diya

Seh gaye jo hum agar dard ko chupke se

To phir humko patthar dil keh diya

Agar hum na hote to gazzal kon kehata

Aapke chehare ko komal kon kehata

Ye to karishma hai mohabbat ka

Varna patthar ko TAJ-MEHAL kon kehata

Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaroo

Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaroo

Kya huwa jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara

Door tak roshni to ho gayi yaaroo

I Wonder When.....

I don't know where the feeling went;
I've tried to find where they hide.

My mind wanders back in time,
Remembering how your touch felt,
How your smile lit up my days.

But no matter how much I try,
The love stays away.

I want to feel it again,
Feel the butterflies swarm when you call my name.

But they don't;
Only memories of long ago feelings remain.

Yes I wander back in time every day but.. I wonder when will this feeling go!!!

*~* When Tomorrow Starts Without Me *~*

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes, All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you miss me to;
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind, All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, All the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you, And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when i did, My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when i walked through heavens gates, I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me, from his great golden throne,
He said "This is eternity, And all I promised you."
Today for life on earth is past, But here is starts a new.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
And since each day is the same way, There's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Thought there were times you did some things, You knew you shouldn't do,
But you have been forgiven, And now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand, And share my life with me,
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we are far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I am right here in your HEART